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Magical Charm School: Do Your Own Thing. Better

Posted by sirensays on August 17, 2009

GeeksWhen I was growing up, I would have loved to have my own Fairy Godmother, or a magical Charm School to attend. You know, someone besides my mom and the nuns of my Catholic school to mentor me through the confusion of growing up.

Charm School

I had good manners. I knew that when you were invited to stay for dinner at a friend’s house, you never asked first what they were having. I kept my elbows off the table, no matter what dinner consisted of. I always said “please” and “thank you” and my friends were polite as well. I was caught in that conundrum many of us were, though – while I was busy being polite and kind, I saw other girls, pushier and lacking in manners, become popular. Well into high school, this dichotomy bothered me. My sister and I used to discuss at length the lure of the not-very-nice girl who was popular vs. us, who were well-mannered, nice, not catty and played by the rules.

As a young adult, when I began to study magic in earnest, I had some wonderful teachers and they taught magical etiquette and were Fairy Godmothers of sorts. For me, this time after college allowed me to let go of the rude girl/polite girl dichotomy and understand how important etiquette really was, magical and otherwise. Etiquette was an excellent way to express your most mannered self, a way of acting on your values in mundane life as well as magical.

Here in Silicon Valley, I watched employees with bad manners but enviable tech skills make their sloppy, ruder, more self-involved mark on the area. Yuck! Some of them identified as Techno-Pagans, with the accompanying bad manners and smug attitudes that indicated a strong sense of entitlement. It made me wonder: How do you achieve your goals, both magical and mundane, while still maintaining some grace, both spiritual and mundane.


I still longed for more mentoring, something more one on one that not only would address how to go about doing and achieving things, but the type of mentoring that went deeper than, but included, magical manners and went to the heart of who I am.

Fairy Godmother Wand

Two years ago, I met the woman who would become that sort of mentor/Fairy Godmother for me. She is Elka Vera, business and life coach, brand consultant, hypnotherapist and all-around mage.

Elka’s upbeat, realistic, educated, creative, inclusive and loving personal style was inviting, contagious and fun. After a few months of knowing her socially, I engaged her as a life coach. In half a year, my life was more magical, deeply satisfying, adventurous and fun. I found a more responsible, higher paying job, not only improved my romantic life but met my life partner, updated my self-image both internally and externally, my health improved, I let go of emotional baggage and my magical prowess increased dramatically. I became myself more fully, more deeply, priestessing my life with both deliberation and a sense of adventure.

Elka was on my side 100% and the investment in taking the time and energy to create a better life for myself was one of the most powerful, collaborative and loving works of magic I have ever conjured and the effects are still manifesting. I’ll post more on Elka in the future – an interview is in the works. You can visit her wonderful website here:

I still wish Silicon Valley had better manners and more magic. But luckily, we have Elka Vera in our midst, offering affordable classes, coaching, and inviting us all to live more creative, fulfilling and loving lives with her motto: “Do your own thing. Better.”


2 Responses to “Magical Charm School: Do Your Own Thing. Better”

  1. Elka Vera said

    Dear Siren,

    I am so deeply honored and touched! Thank you for your loving support.


    • sirensays said

      Dear Elka,

      It was really a joy to write. I look forward to being able to post an interview w/you in the near future. Your clarity, spunk, intelligence & collaborative style are topnotch. Blessings to you this harvest season.

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